Futures and Options

Just another town along the road.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I can haz personal space?

There is always at least one person on a project who has no conception of personal space.  This is especially fun if this same individual also lacks the ability to operate independently outside of work.  An exerpt from today’s conversation…

PSE (Personal Space Encroacher): Popping his head into my cube. “Where are you taking me today?”
Me:  “Huh?”
PSE:  Sidling up. “For lunch.  Quizno’s?”
Me:  “We went there as a group yesterday because we needed to talk about the project, I’m probably just going to run out and back to McD’s so I’m not gone too long.”
PSE:  Grabbing my shoulder. “Come on.  Quizno’s.”
Me:  Pulling away as tactfully as possible. “I’m really not in the mood for it, strange as it sounds I’m actually jonesing for some McNuggets.”
PSE:  Grabbing my upper arm. “You need something healthier.  Take me to Quizno’s.”
Me:  Pulling away slightly less tactfully. “You have a rental car, you can go there yourself you know.”
PSE:  Re-grabbing my upper arm. “I don’t want to go alone, I only go to Quiznos if you drive me.”
Me:  Gives up on tact and just pulls away, contemplating whether it would be worth the damage to my career include a sucker-punch as a parting gift. “Look.  You’re a grown man.  If you want Quizno’s, drive yourself.”

To my eternal credit, I did not say any of the following:
– “I am not your fucking taxi service!”
– “If you’re lonely and need a companion, find a damn mail-order bride and quit following me around like a bloody lost puppy.”
– “If you touch me again, I will make you wish that I had killed you.”

posted by Zenmervolt at 09:35  

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